ungrateful

for the last few weeks i've been struggling with food. i've had no appetite, no desire to eat. the truth is that i've been thinking about all the food i can't have. i want mexican food... tortillas... i want pizza factory... i want summer fruits...like blackberries and peaches and nectarines and melons... i would kill someone for arby's (ok that's a little drastic...but i would slap someone real hard...:)) i haven't been really dwelling on the foods, but my attitude in my heart was changing towards the foods here. nothing sounded good. it was all blah. i was having to force myself to eat...

and then i accidentally went to the base worship last wednesday morning. (ok, it wasn't really an accident...we have staff meeting every wednesday, and before each meeting we spend an hour worshipping...) the worship leader, bamshak, from nigeria, began sharing what God was speaking to him about... which was how ungrateful bamshak had been being about the cross, taking for granted the sacrifice of Jesus...

stay with me....

i asked God if i had been ungrateful... and He gently kicked me in the head and said YES. that i had been ungrateful about food...

i realized that i COULD walk into SM (the largest supermarket in Baguio) purchase whatever i wanted. i COULD go to any restaurant in Baguio and order anything i want off the menu, and pay for it. but there are people TODAY who haven't eaten because they have nothing. and they won't eat tomorrow because they don't have the money.

BUT my Faithful Loving Father has abundantly supplied all my NEEDS according to His riches in glory. so who am i to complain or grumble about not getting to eat the things i really am craving right now? i have food to eat. a place to sleep. and people who love me.

i have been ungrateful, and i repented. last week i made a choice that i would be grateful because i want to honor God with my attitude and praise Him for His faithfulness to me. and you know what? the food tastes so good right now.

i found some black plums at the store. tonight i had a sort-of taco salad that was amazing (lettuce and ground beef and cheese and olives). did you know that since i live in the mountains that we have amazing produce? piles of cabbage and green beans and broccoli. and so many fruits (some imported).

my God has supplied all my needs, according to His riches in glory.

ps. don't worry, i would only slap someone's hand and give them a high 5 (referred to in the Phillipines as 'apir' which sounds like 'appear', for those of you who are wondering ) for the Arby's. i'm a missionary, we aren't supposed to be violent. :D