:) i don't know if you'll ever need to know this, but just in case you do:)

I'm going to show you what you need to know should the occasion ever arise that you need to take a bucket shower and are unsure how to proceed.

Step # 1: Make sure you have the essential pieces for your shower. The 3 items in the photo, plus the usual cleaning products should all be nearby.

Step #2 Locate the bucket. In this case, it's a lovely bright blue color, very cheery. Fill the bucket about 2/3rds of the way with tap water, or pumped water, or rainwater...for best results it's try not to use the toilet water (though it might be tempting if you're having to go far to collect this important ingredient).

Step #3: When you've accumulated enough water, locate the water heater- in this case the bright yellow plastic thingy with the fashionable brown cord. <Please read all of step 3 and 4 before plugging in this stunning piece of technology to avoid being electrocuted in a cartoon-like moment you'll be embarrassed to admit later.> Place the heating element (the yellow part) into the water to the point that it is submerged, but not all the way to the bottom of the bucket. This ensures optimum water circulation. Using your best girl/boy scout technique, wrap some of the brown cord around the faucet to hold the plastic in it's position. Now it's time to plug in the water heater and then go make some coffee, check your email, pick your nose...

Step #4: After about 30 minutes return to check on your bucket. Please do not thrust your hand into the bucket to see if it's hot enough. You will die. Or smoke. Or at least it will hurt. Alot. Simply feel the outside of the trusty blue bucket. If it's warm, you're ready to unplug the heater and move on to step 5. If not, wait longer. But remember: a watched bucket never boils. :)

Step #5: Check to make sure the water heater is unplugged.

Step #6: Now you're almost ready to take your nice hot shower. Locate the dipper, in this case a marvelous, ladylike fuschia pink plastic scoop. <Please note that anything that scoops can be used if you can't locate this exact item. Things I've used: coconut husk, bottom half of plastic liter bottle...my friend Susie tried to use a live turtle, but that's another story. :)> It is imperative that you check the water temperature before dumping water on your head. Start by touching the water with your finger. Then mix it with the scooper, assuring that the heat has been thoroughly distributed. Add cold tap water as needed to get your preferred temperature.

Step #7 You are now ready for the actual shower. Squatting works best, since the water is limited. Soap up. Rinse. Wash hair. Rinse. Condition. Rinse. Rinse. Rinse. Rinse. Please note that at the bottom of the bucket you might find chunks of what looks like clay. It's gunk from the water heater. It's best to not use that for rinsing. Cause you just end up full of chunkies...which is I think what might have started this process in the first place. So, as tempting as that warm water looks, don't be drawn in...walk away. Find your towel. You've just accomplished your goal. Congratulations!

At this point I think you should know that tonight, after almost 5 years of bucket showers, for the first time I stuck my hand in the bucket to test the water while the heater was still plugged into the wall (220volts). It hurt. I didn't like it. But I did laugh at myself. And I thought maybe some of you would laugh at me too. Which led me to this post. :)